After searching around the internets I found many a dainty grill guard but then I stumbled upon the ARB Bull Bar. I called a local shop iron pig offroad and they had great things to say so i had them order me one. Iron Pig was very helpful with ordering and offering assistance with installation but I decided to tackle it myself. Much thanks to iron pig offroad.
Installation instructions went something like this 'remove old bumper and install new bumper', maybe not exactly but ... I had heard you had to modify the frame by removing existing bumper mounts, which was quite easy. Mounts seen here. Removing the mounts was relatively simple, I just had to smack it around a bit and grind it down. Then a survey of the existing mount locations on the frame, the ARB hardware, and the bolt holes on the bull bar fills in the missing instruction. I installed this myself which was the tough route, the bumper is a good 100lbs but luckily a channel on the bull bar can be used to rest the bull bar on the frame during install.
The front end is now like a tank, it was a great fit, great quality.
Now I want another 4Runner so I can get another one of these.